Preparation For Approaching

I talk a lot about the turning point in my pickup ability where I dropped all pre-scripted material. I was going out, night after night, saying prescripted stories and routines. I even had jokes prepared. And I’d just go out and say all this stuff, one thing after the other, without paying attention to anything else. Needless to say, I was quite entertaining, but definitely not attractive. I never got more than a laugh. So this is one end of the spectrum – total scripting. Now on the other hand of the spectrum we have what most men do. Get drunk and wing it, ‘evening at the improv style.’ Hopefully you say something she likes… That’s not so good either. The reason going in with absolutely NOTHING except your random thoughts won’t work (unless "you get lucky," as the term is aptly worded), is because women are looking for certain things in a man. If you are being .pletely random and uprepared, it’s doubtful that you won’t hit her attraction cues. Essentially, a woman has certain needs, based on her biological situation; these needs have evolved over evolution, from before we were technically even human. And if you don’t convey that you can satisfy these needs, you’re toast. Now back to going fully scripted. If you spend hours preparing routines just so you can have the right to talk to a woman, what does that say about you? And when you actually talk to a woman, what does it say about you if you are talking and talking, essentially dancing for her like a monkey on stage? It says bad stuff – let’s leave it at that. You’re always sending IMPLICIT MESSAGES to women. Always. So make sure you a) send the right message, while b) having fun. That’s another thing. Prescripting your interactions SUCKS! It’s a lot of work, and allows for zero creativity. .ing up with a "routine stack" and then reciting it like doing research and then giving a speech. In other words, it feels like homework. Yuck. Buddha said, "Take the middle path." So let’s look at that part of the spectrum. You should be prepared, but not in the way you think. Most guys try to micromanage their interactions with women, for fear of making a mistake. Bad bad bad. But again, you want to make sure you hit those attracting cues. So you SHOULD prepare, but not with specific lines. Hav e some preparedness for yourself by figuring out your MINDSET, which should be a SYNTHESIS of two things: 1. Your goal 2. Her needs, or ‘attraction cues’ Your mindset should be an intention that satisfies her needs, while moving you toward your desired out.e. This mindset will give you structure – just the right amount of preparation you need. It’s like giving you a direction to move towards. It allows you to fill in the details with your personality, while giving you an a actual purpose Think about every joule of energy you expend as a marble. Now let’s say you throw all your marbles in random directions. You have marbles everywhere – it’s a mess. Now assume to take all your marbles, and arrange them in a general direction. You can take one marble and flick it towards another, and continue to do this all in the same direction, towards one point. Eventually you’ll have all your marbles where you want them. Although an imperfect analogy, it serves it’s purpose. Let’s take it a little further. If you PRE-SCRIPT every marble-flick – you try to guess ahead of time exactly where every marble will roll, and the order of every marble you flick and which marble it will then hit, you will be planning a very long time. And you’ll be wrong. Guaranteed. No one can predict what will happen in a .plex system, like a human interaction. So it’s a big waste of time. Using the marbles for the routine based approach, you go about flicking each marble according to your plans, ignoring the direction the whole of the marbles are taking. You are stuck in your order – red marble, then blue, then green, etc. But the marbles don’t go where you expected, and you end up with a bunch of marbles no where near your goal. I know a lot of guys can relate to the endless planning, and the dead-end results. That’s because they are going out with no intention, or an intention that doesn’t feed her needs and your goals. Copyright (c) 2009 Vin DiCarlo 相关的主题文章: